Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Alone in the Kitchen with an Eggplant


How ironic, that in August I have been eating alone so much more frequently than usual. I ate a lot of airline meals while travelling alone for over a month; airline meals are described in this book as eating alone in a crowd, at the world's only tables designed for one. And now Anthony is away on a two and a half week trip and I am eating alone at home. While eating these recent solitary meals, I have been reading Alone in the Kitchen with an Eggplant: Confessions of Cooking for One and Dining Alone, edited by Jenni Ferrari-Adler. It is our August Kitchen Reader book, chosen by Anni of anjeme.

Whether by misanthropy or necessity, we all often find ourselves eating alone. The essays in this collection cover those who eat at restaurants solo, and those who fix food at home. There's a fair amount of discussion about why we tend to find eating alone especially uncomfortable. Restaurants, first of all, are not at all designed for a single eater. They revolve around the idea of company, mostly. One writer in this book (author Steve Almond) goes as far to say that all eating should revolve around others: "Eating alone isn't natural.... I happen to believe that humans were born to feed each other." But quite a few writers celebrate the idea of eating alone, whether in public or private.

It's so tempting to eat rubbish when I'm eating alone. Dinner can be just a whole wheat roll, a few veggie sticks, and a glass of milk. But several writers encouraged me to better things with their insightful ideas about eating alone. Mary Cantwell says of eating alone one night: "I think of it as the first [evening] I ever really spent with myself." Several other writers pick up the theme of how eating alone can enhance our self-confidence. Amanda Hesser comments: "I would force myself to cook to fortify my independence and to commit to a satisfying life on my own." Cooking for just yourself (or dining out alone) is a way of looking after yourself and edifying your sense of worth.

Even so, cooking for one can seem like a hassle. But I found a useful piece of advice from Laura Calder: make something from scratch that can be eaten from just one bowl. There are two reasons she mentions: if it can be eaten from one bowl, chances are you made it in one pot, hence it's convenient to cook and wash up. And secondly, A one-bowl supper can be eaten with one utensil (fork or spoon) and thus you can sit anywhere, such as on the couch, "rather than behind the candelabra at the far end of a table for twelve, like the last living member of a fallen dynasty." A one-bowl meal Calder's way is not intimidating or lonely.

So here I found myself, reading Alone in the Kitchen, with my legs curled under me, and a bowl of prawns stir fried with greens and mushrooms for dinner. Tonight I am very happily eating alone.

What do you eat when you eat alone?

Comments (12)

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I enjoyed the one bowl bit as well.

And when I eat alone I attempt to find whatever protein isn't frozen, veggies and fruit. At least, that's the way things are now that we've gone primal. Before it might have been chocolate cake. :)
1 reply · active 710 weeks ago
Libbi, that sounds quite like my solo dinners, too. (I think primal eating might suit me. Hmm...) I don't think I could eat chocolate cake for dinner, my conscience wouldn't let me! Sad?
I haven't read this book but I do love that Laurie Colwin essay. MFK Fisher also has some great essays and insight into eating alone, both at home and in restaurants. I used to hostess at a very popular nyc restaurant that wouldn't allow single diners to eat in the dining room! They were relegated to the bar. I am the worst when eating alone. I love to cook and do so all the time, but I love to feed people. When it's just me I'm terrible. I'll end up eating a bowl of cereal or even ice cream for dinner. Great post!
1 reply · active 710 weeks ago
Katherine, I forgot to mention that there was an MFK Fisher essay in the book, too, it might even be the one you are referring to: "A is for Dining Alone". Reading this collection made me realize there are a lot of food authors I want to investigate further; Colwin and Fisher are at the top of that list now.

I can definitely imagine eating cereal for dinner, but ice cream? Heehee.
i agree with you. these days, even when i'm cooking only for myself, it's healthy. i feel guilty about eating too much (last night: 2 veggie wraps, a salad, half a bag of grapes, a banana, AND pita chips with hummus... all between 5 and 9 pm), not for eating something completely devoid of nutrition. the benefits of being a vegetarian?

in college, though, i could throw back and entire pint of sorbet and call it a meal. ick.
My recent post the kitchen reader: alone in the kitchen with an eggplant (confessions of cooking for one and dining alone)
1 reply · active 710 weeks ago
Anni, I think your last night's dinner sounds nice. I bet it's still fewer calories than something like a Big Mac.... If it would have been carrot sticks with hummus I would have thought you were describing my own dinner plans. :)
I definitely fall into the category of eating rubbish when alone. It's never intentional, but that's the problem - I'm not intentional. I'm hungry after work, so I graze on whatever is in sight (usually a processed carb) until I'm not hungry anymore. And later, I can't tell you what I ate for "dinner."
But if I am intentional, one-dish, one-pot meals are definitely the best! I'm really concerned with eating a balanced meal, but making a main and sides for one is daunting, so a dish like stir-fry is the perfect balance.
P.S. Love what you did in your picture, with the bowl on the book. Clever :)
2 replies · active 710 weeks ago
I guess my only idea about "grazing" is to make sure there's nothing crap to graze on in view, or even out of view. For example, my husband likes potato chips but I don't want to get sucked into eating them, so I buy sour cream and onion flavour for him because I think it stinks. :-P Then I don't feel tempted to help myself when he's away.

I never buy white bread and so if I find myself wanting a carb like that I can only find rye crisp bread... and it's much easier not to start chowing down on that since it's so spiky in my mouth, do you know what I mean? Haha.

Yes, main and sides is too much! Unless you count carrot sticks and hummus. :)
Yes, absolutely! We have to police ourselves. Hence the commonly heard advice, never shop while hungry. (For me it would be BBQ flavor chips, yuck :)
I also enjoyed the point that after nourishing yourself with decent food, you shouldn't have to do a lot of dishes. Especially since food blogging often involves cooking for myself due to the time of day and dirtying many extra dishes for photography purposes, it's comforting to just plunk down a cozy bowl of something (the ol' "bowls of crap").

Tonight I'm having leftovers from a small potluck I attended last night: cumin-scented lentils with roasted summer veggies and toasted walnuts.
My recent post the kitchen reader: alone in the kitchen with an eggplant
Well, I have to admit, I cook for myself because that is the only time I get to eat what I really like that no one else does. But I don't like to do it often. And I don't do it in the kitchen standing at the counter.

Nicely written.
Sounds like a good read! When I eat alone...I normally eat rubbish :(
My recent post Lumpia Mataram, Semarang - Spring Rolls, My Hometown Style

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